


You think I should have?

by MiriamMT



Series: Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [24]
Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Good Sibling Lip Gallagher, Helpful Lip Gallagher, M/M, Mexico, Sad Ian Gallagher
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-20
Updated: 2019-12-20
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:41:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21859984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MiriamMT/pseuds/MiriamMT
Summary: Inspiration for this was the deleted scene of S7.After not going to Mexico with Mickey, Ian has a talk with Lip. Ian finally tells his brother how dissapointed he was about his behaviour when it came to his and Mickey's relationship throughout the years. Lip tries to make it right.
Relationships: Ian Gallagher/Mickey Milkovich
Series: Gallavich OneShots (no smut) [24]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1525730
Comments: 1
Kudos: 100





	You think I should have?

Ian and Lip were sitting at the Gallagher table in the kitchen.  
Both a beer in hand, Ian was fumbling with the label of the beer bottle.  
His mind was on Mickey and Mexico, every time he closed his eyes, he saw Mickey in font of him: How heartbroken he had looked, how disappointed but also... he hadn't been surprised, as if he had known, Ian wouldn't come with him in the end. That Ian wouldn't do it and would leave him alone again. It had broken Ian's heart all over again, seeing Mickey like that. Disappointed in him but not surprised to be disappointed by him again. 

"So, Mexico?", Lip asked eventually.  
"Yeah, stupid right?", he asked. Since he saw Mickey leaving, seeing the damn car driving across the boarder without him, he couldn't help but think, it was the most stupid thing he ever did in his life.  
He needed to know it was the right decision to not go with him, someone needed to agree with him, it was better he stayed here.

"Why didn't you do it?", Lip asked.  
Ian looked up at him. Maybe Lip thought too, he should've done it. Maybe he would encourage him to go after him. He loved Mickey, he really did and fuck, his family was the reason he didn't go with him. He thought, he couldn't go even though he wanted to. He wanted to be with Mick, those few days they had spent together made him happier than the past two years alone. Maybe Lip would support him and Mickey for once.  
"You think I should have?"

"Oh, fuck no", he said, and Ian pressed his lips together, "Still surprised you didn't."  
Ian scoffed, "Thanks for the vote of confidence, asshole."  
"I don't know. I mean, you always were a bit _loco_ when Mickey was around." 

Ian sighed, yeah, of course Lip would put it away like that. Was it so crazy, that he loved this man? Was it really? Was it beyond Lip, how Ian could love such a person and visit him in juvie, have him working in the store with him, being fucking happy whenever he was around? Getting drunk on his wedding what was one of the worst days in his life, running away because the boy he loved married a whore, was all of that so crazy? Maybe. But at least he knew, that his love for Mickey was real. That makes you a little crazy.

"I got in the car with him", Ian said eventually, the event replaying in his mind, Mickey had looked so happy, so relieved, as if he himself wouldn't have thought, Ian would actually come with him, and well... he didn't in the end. He picked on the label. 

"I'm having trouble picturing you near the equator", Lip smiled.  
Ian looked up at him.   
"I mean, you have to cover up like a motherfucker down there"  
He pressed his lips together.

_"I bet your white ass burns like a motherfucker", Mickey said grinning and he looked beautiful and happy, happier than Ian had seen him in years._

Ian closed his eyes and pressed his lips into a fine line at the memory of Mickey.  
"Big sombrero, putting on those white gloves, you know, like the Asian Ladies have?", Lip joked.  
And Ian tried his hardest not to imagine it. The life he could have with Mickey in Mexico. The life he just gave up, the dream he had shattered for Mickey and himself.

"Sex any good?"  
"It's fucking fantastic", sex, that was all Lip thought about when it came to Mickey and him, was it? He never took their relationship seriously, never acknowledged Ian having real feeling for the Milkovich, he put them away as fuckbuddies and he would continue to do so no matter what.  
It was the only thing about his relationship Ian had the feeling of being able to talk about with Lip without having to be afraid to belittled or his feelings being dismissed.

They sat there in silence for a moment.  
The image of a heartbroken Mickey still in Ian's mind.  
"Well, I'm glad you didn't go. You deserve someone better.", and even though his words may have been meant to be encouraging, they made Ian furious.

"Lip", he said and licked his lips, before pinning his eyes on the beer bottle, "You remember, when we were kids and you found out I was gay and uh, fucking Kash?"  
"Yeah, why?"   
"You asked me, to name a single time you've let me down.", he nodded, "The answer is, every single time, it came to Mickey. You let me down." 

Lip blinked a few times and looked at him confused.  
"What the hell do you mean?"  
Ian sat up straight and looked at him again, "When Mickey was getting married, I told you, his father caught us, that he made Svetlana rape him, so he'd be straight and... that she was pregnant, and Mickey had to marry her because of that. I couldn't even wrap my head around it, so much shit was happening all at once. But I told you that, I told you, that the boy I loved got hurt so badly and you... you said he'd get family discount on handy-J's. Your fucking advise was, to fuck someone new, someone different. To just switch him for someone else."

Lip cleared his throat, "And what the fuck should I have said?"  
"I'm not finished yet. Did you ever wonder, why I didn't tell you right away what happened?"  
"Yeah, of course I wondered that, man. I asked you, why I didn't know about it and you just said, that you didn't tell me, no fucking explanation."

"Here is your fucking explanation: I didn't feel like I could talk about him to you. Not really. Not ever. You just said, that there would always be someone better than Mickey Milkovich, made comments about him fucking Angie Zahgo or didn't address it at all. You never liked him, and you never liked me being with him, I couldn't talk to you about him. About us."  
"What _us_? There was no you and him back then, you just fucked around, Ian!"   
"No", he shook his head, "No, we didn't just fuck around. I fell in love with him... he fell in love with me... we kissed and... it meant a fucking lot to me, everything, every little moment I spent with him was important to me. When I told you he got hurt, you didn't care about his safety. You didn't care the boy I had obviously, yes fucking obviously, had feelings for, got hurt, hurt by his dad and Svet and even fucking me!"

Lip looked down at his hands.  
"He wasn't good for you..."  
"No one was ever better for me, Lip. You're my brother, how come you didn't see that? I mean, who are you to judge Mick and me? You dropped out of school, because Karen was pregnant and you didn't even know if it was yours, you treated Mandy like trash, took her for granted and broke her heart a million times. I don't know what the deal with that rich kid from College was, you fucked your professor and were thrown out of college. You think you can judge, who was bad for who? And yet, you could always talk to me about those girls, even when you broke my best friend's heart. Every time I tried to talk to you about Mickey, I just felt miserable in the end because you didn't understand me... belittled and dismissed my feelings, our relationship."

Lip bit his lip, he had no idea his brother was feeling this way and Christ, he must've bottled it up for forever already.  
"He helped me with the diagnosis.", Ian went on, "Not you, not Fiona or Debbie, you all tried and I'm grateful for that, but he dragged me off to the doctors, made me take the pills, wanted me to be okay. And in response, I... I broke his heart. No word from you, no comment. I wished you would've kicked my ass, telling me to go to prison and see him. I wished, you'd call me stupid for talking shit about him and the dates when I went out with Caleb. But you never did. For you, Mickey was an inconvenience I should get over. So yeah, you let me down. I didn't know I needed a kick in the ass from you when Mickey was in prison, but I did, and you should've known as my big brother. You should've... fuck, you should've been the one I felt safe with talking about Mickey to. But I didn't." 

"So, what", Lip swallowed, "Are you telling me, I'm a bad brother?"  
"No, you're not a bad brother. You're not. But you could've been a hell of a lot better sometimes. You could tell me what a fucking asshole I am to let Mickey leave and to not go with him. You could tell me, to pack my shit and go after him. But now it's too late... he's gone and I'm probably never going to see him again, I don't even know where he is in Mexico.", he mumbled and rubbed his eyes, he slowly got up. 

"Hey, where are you going? Am I not allowed to defend myself on this?"  
"No", Ian mumbled tiredly and walked to the stairs, "You're not allowed to defend yourself, there is nothing to defend, it's over – forever."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lip couldn't sleep all night. When Ian had told him about Mickey and him being caught, Karen was at the hospital at the time. Some of the things Ian had said, certainly weren't fair... but he was right in the end.  
He didn't want Ian and mickey to work out, he didn't like Mickey and didn't want him to stay and them being a couple. He had been happy, when Mickey and Ian were over, and he didn't even think about comforting his brother or generally taking interest in his relationship with the Milkovich.  
Not once. Not ever.

A few days later he found himself sitting on the stairs to the abandoned and empty Milkovich house.  
He turned his phone in his hands.  
He had stolen a phone number out of Ian's phone and now battelled with himself to call.  
"Come on, don't be a fucking pussy", he said to himself and finally called the number.

"Hello?"  
Lip's breathing stopped when he heard her voice. It's been years since he heard it the last time and a good year since he had seen her... leaving his house, blonde hair, nice clothes, Jeep.  
"H-hey Mandy... It's, uh... it's Lip."

"Lip?", she sounded confused.  
"Yeah, don't hang up, please!", he said quickly, "Don't hang up just yet."  
"Who gave you my number? Is Ian okay?"  
"Yeah... no... not really."  
"What the hell does that mean?"

"Listen uh... could we meet up, maybe? If you happen to be in Chicago, I mean..."  
"I-"  
"Please... it's kind of important..."  
"Okay.", Mandy said unsure, "Meet me in an hour, I text you the address.", then she hung up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lip walked into the little coffeeshop on the northside.  
He spotted Mandy quickly, she sat in a booth, eyes glued on the table, she looked smaller than he remembered, her confidential aura being almost gone.  
He walked up to her and sat across from her, she looked up.

"Hey", he smiled at her.  
"Hey", she forced a smile too.  
"You look very pretty."  
She nodded and licked her lips, "Thanks. So, you said, it's important?", she didn't look at him.

"Yeah...", he sighed, "Do you think I'm a good brother?"  
She looked up at him confused, "Is that why you wanted to meet me, to get some ego boost from me?"  
"No... no, I just... I had a kind of intense talk with Ian the other night... How I never supported him and Mickey and... how he felt like he couldn't talk to me about it."

Mandy shrugged, "What do you want to hear from me? He didn't complain to me, because he didn't tell me about him and Mick either."  
"Yeah... right", he swallowed, "Did he ever tell you, afterwards, what happened with Mick and Svetlana? That Terry caught them?"  
Mandy looked surprised, "Dad caught them?"  
"So not then", he mumbled, "It's not my business to tell you, shit, sorry. I shouldn't have started about this..."

He nervously scratched his arm; Mandy watched his body language.  
"Is this about Mexico? About Ian not going with him?"  
"You know about that?", he looked at her hopeful.

"Of course, I know about that. What do you think, Mickey just leaves without telling me? He loves me. And with Ian gone forever, I'm the only left so..."  
"I think he regrets it."  
"Who regrets what?"  
"Ian... I think he regrets not going with him. I think, he wanted to go with him. He really did."

"Well, it's a little late for second-guessing now, right?"  
"Is it, though?"  
"What do you mean?"  
"I have to admit... as amazing it is to see you, I actually wanted to see you because I hoped... maybe you have his new address or something...", he mumbled.

Mandy stared at the drink in front of her.  
"If Ian wanted to go after him, he could've asked for the address himself, couldn't he?"  
"So, you have it? You know where he is?"  
"Of course I do..."  
"Well, Ian sometimes needs a kick in the ass. More importantly, he needs to be kicked in the ass by me, and he wants me to care, so I care and kick him, all the way to Mexico, if I have to."

Mandy scoffed, "As if you ever liked Mickey. You're just doing this to feel better about yourself."  
"No... maybe that's part of it, yeah, but no. Ian is right... Mickey is good for him. I didn't want to see it... but it's time I get over my fucking pride, right? If he is what Ian wants and, uh, needs, then... then it's my duty as his big brother that let him down before, to not let him down this time."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian lay in his bed, sleeping, dreaming about Mickey, when suddenly, he startled awake.  
He sat up and looked around confused. He saw a duffle bag on his legs, he must've woken up because someone threw it at him.

"Oh good, you're up.", a voice said, Ian looked to his closet confused.  
"Lip? The fuck are you doing?"  
"The fuck are you doing still in bed? Get your ass up, you're leaving soon. I already have your shit packed. I found a stash of Mickey's old clothes in the closet by the way and I promised myself to not make comments about it but fuck it: You're weird dude. Now get up, take a shower."

"What are you talking about?", he asked sleepily.  
"You smell. Take a shower. Don't worry, I packed his shirts as well. I won't say it again, get up."  
Ian only sighed and rolled himself out of bed.   
"You're a fucking weirdo.", he mumbled and walked across the hall to the bathroom.

Ian walked into the kitchen freshly showered and dressed, Lip stood with Ian's pills in his hand in the kitchen.  
"Here is your doses for today morning. I put the rest in the bag. I got your toothbrush here, other body stuff, clothes, did I forget something?"  
"Yeah, you forgot to tell me what the fuck is going on."

"Take your pills, eat your sandwich, you ain't got much time left. Did you say Fi goodbye? And Debbie and Carl and Liam? Did you call Trevor?"  
"Goodbye? Trevor? What are you talking about?"

Lip took a deep breath and looked at him over his breakfast.  
"You're going to see Mickey. You'll take your shit. Take this plane ticket Mandy and I bought you", he pulled something out of his jeans pocket, "And you'll find that piece of shit and stay with him."

Ian stared at him shocked. He looked from the ticket to Lip and back.  
"What?"  
"I called Mandy. She told me where he is.", he pulled another piece of paper from his pocket and slid it across the counter to Ian.  
"You aren't serious."  
"Deadly. Eat up, say goodbye to everyone, your flight goes in three hours so we gotta go soon."

"Lip, no!", he shook his head, "You're fucking insane, I can't just leave like that..."  
"Hell you can. I talked to your boss, handed in your notice for you. You get a good recommendation letter and once you improved your Spanish a bit, you can work as an EMT in Mexico. You'll need the money for all the sun cream you're gonna need to buy", he grinned.

"You did what?", Ian exclaimed, "You can't just... Hell, he probably doesn't even want to see me! He's gonna send me back home!"  
"No, he won't. We're not discussing this, by the way. I put lots of photos in your bag, you won't even notice we aren't there with you. Even some pictures of Yevgeny, so Mickey can see him. Gave Svet your phone number, so she can send pictures and everything. You're going."

"You can't just plan this whole thing out without telling me and expect me to comply!"  
"Hell, I can. You need a kick in the ass, so I'm kicking your ass over to Mexico. You said yourself, there is no one better for you than Mickey. And I maybe have been an asshole the past years when it came to your relationship, but that's gonna stop now. I'm your brother and I care about you. And because of that, I'm telling you: you go to Mexico, and you boyfriend the shit out of that man. And you'll call us once in a while and take your meds, get a psychiatrist there and make sure they give you your pills."

Ian was at a loss of words, not sure anymore, if he should be angry or thankful.   
"Now, you close that Trevor thing once and for all. You're leaving the country for Mickey, but hey, the guy deserves to know it's over now, like, actually, really, over. I wake up the others so you can say goodbye.

Ian exhaled deeply and looked at the duffle bag. He opened it and looked through it. Clothes, necessities, two envelopes... He took them out. One consisted of the pictures Lip had talked about, he opened the other one and was surprised. Money. Lip was serious about this.  
But should he really go? What if Mickey didn't want to see him anymore? What if he really broke his heart once too often?  
He got some of the pictures out of the other envelope.

They were of his family, Kev, V and Yevgeny. And a picture of Mickey and him.   
He bit his bottom lip; he didn't know the picture.  
It showed him and Mickey sleeping on the couch. They must've fallen asleep while watching a movie or something, Mickey lay on Ian's chest, both wrapped up in blanket. They barely ever had those sweet calm moments. It must've been sometime between his first depressed episode and the mania kicking in again.  
He turned the picture around and noticed Mandy's handwriting on the back. It just stated "Spring 2014, Love, Mandy"  
He really would do a lot, to get this time back.

He quickly shoved the picture in his pocket and put the others back when he heard people walking down the stairs.  
"Is it true? You're leaving?", Debbie asked.  
Ian nodded slowly, looking at Lip, "Yeah, I guess."

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ian got off the plane, got his duffle bag. Saying goodbye to his sibling had been emotional, but he promised to call and send letters. At least he properly said goodbye. Fiona didn't exactly approve of him leaving everything behind to follow a fugitive criminal, but Lip had shut her up quickly.

The ginger got into one of the cabs in front of the airport. His Spanish wasn't that good, but he at least would be able to communicate with people in the language as far as using a cab and maybe grocery shopping.

He gave the driver the little paper with Mickey's new address on.  
A good 45 minutes later the car stopped.  
Ian gave him some money out of the envelope and got out. He looked up at the building in front of him. It looked cheap.

He quickly got in and walked up the stairs to the fourth floor, like it said on the note.  
He stood in front of what must be Mickey's apartment. It was around noon here.  
He hesitated.

He just came all the way from Chicago to Mexico and now stood in front of a door that could belong to Mickey's apartment. And he had no idea what he would find on the other side.

He took the photo from his pocket and looked at it. He and Mickey looked so happy, completely calm, just lying there, fucking cuddling on the couch. If he wouldn't have gotten sick, they could've had that forever... he could have it again. He just needed to knock...

He knocked on the door. He put the photo away again and knocked again.   
He was nervous and impatient, he needed to finally see him again. He wanted to be with him again since he drove over that fucking border!

For a time, there was no reaction, so Ian kept knocking, hammering on the door.   
"Yeah, yeah, I'm coming!", he heard a groggy voice from inside, "Shit, I payed the fucking rent, want the fuck do you- ", the door opened and in front of Ian stood Mickey suddenly.

The Milkovich stopped babbling abruptly and stared up at him. Surprised, speechless.  
"Hey", Ian whispered, "Sorry, I'm late."

Mickey's mouth hung slightly open; he couldn't believe it! There stood Gallagher, his Gallagher!  
This must be some cruel trick of his mind, a fucking dream or whatever.

"Ian?", Mickey whispered, "What are you doing here?"  
Ian licked his bottom lip, "You said, I could come with you to Mexico. I get that I'm a little late and all, but... is the offer still standing? The beach... us."

Mickey couldn't believe it, the surprise was written across his face, that slowly turned into a smile.  
Ian smiled back, when Mickey took a step back and let him in.  
As soon as Ian was in, Mickey closed the door and pulled Ian on his shirt to him, smashing their lips together.

Ian let his duffle bag fall to the ground and wrapped his arms around his waist, pulling him close.  
"Fuck, it's really you", Mickey mumbled when he pulled away.  
"I'm sorry I didn't come with you right away, Mick. I thought I couldn't just leave my family like that, so impulsive and... fuck it, I'm here and I'm staying."  
Mickey smiled honestly and hugged him tightly, he just hugged him, hiding his face in the crook of his neck.

"What changed your mind?"   
"Lip kicked my ass."  
"Lip hated me."  
"He called Mandy to got the address from her, and put me into an airplane, he can't hate you that much. Maybe he just waned to get rid of me though."

Mickey looked him in the eyes again and chuckled.  
"That sounds more likely. And I almost thought it had to do with that boyfriend of yours...", he looked down at his shirt.   
"No, I officially ended things with Trevor, Mick. I meant what I said at the border.", he leaned their foreheads together, "I love you. And I want to be with you."

Mickey smiled again and pulled him down for another kiss, calmer this time.


End file.
